Since I lost my parents three years ago and I don't have any grandchildren, Christmas isn't a big thing in my life anymore. Therefore, it's not way up there on my list of fun things. I go through the motions like it's just another day.
When I was a child, my parents, myself and my two siblings always spent Christmas day the same way each year for as long as we could. We would visit my maternal grandmother (I never knew my mother's father as he passed away when she was only 14) in the afternoon, along with a buffet spread; we then spent Christmas evening at my paternal grandparents' house where a full-course meal awaited us. My father's father passed away first and that was when everything changed. My grandmother moved to New York to live with my aunt.
I think it was then that my parents decided that we would all celebrate Christmas at their house, starting a new tradition. We all had children and it wasn't too long before our children had children. But when my Dad passed away just before Christmas three years ago, our whole world was again torn apart. And two and a half months later, Mom followed.
My younger sister lives out of state and since our parents are gone, she feels no need to visit anyone here any more. And that goes for her two daughters (my nieces) and their families.
My older brother lives about a half an hour away and he keeps to himself along with his two sons (my nephews) and their families. Yes, I am a middle child and believe me I have always felt like a middle child. It ain't no fun being one either. But that's another story for another time.
Once Thanksgiving has passed, I have always just wanted to hibernate until the next year. This is not a happy time for me, and it probably never will be. My parents were the catalyst that held our families together. Mom loved to cook a big meal and have us all there to gather around the table on Christmas. No longer. Now everyone just goes about their own business and that is so sad. For me anyway.
One bright note I might add is that I do have a daughter and we will get to see her for Christmas.
This is not a pity party...far from it. I have felt this way about Christmas for a long time. I am a Christian but I don't need all the trappings that surround the holiday to enjoy this most wonderful time of the year. The only thing I have liked about the holiday was being with my entire family at the homestead and that's gone now. All I have left are the memories, and that is truly all that really matters.
12 comments:
You could come here, though we are more than a half an hour away.
I tell people we are going be at the Corner Tavern in Conroe for Christmas as they are open for people who don't have anyplace else to go. Mrs. Jim made me stop telling that, that didn't get us any invitations anyway.
Turns out Karen is in town and we will open our home to all kiddos who are around.
I did once spend Thanksgiving in a small apartment above a bar in Lincoln, Nebraska. A friend had it and she went to her parent's.
That is a tear jerker sometimes.
Hang in there, I'm glad you are seeing your daughter.
..
..
I can relate all too well. I am just glad I have my lil "Pups". I know what yu mean when your "blood" is gone. ALL too well. Invite from the Dawg House to yours!!! Only if you bring the oldest Mustang, I mean a ride along St. Pete Beach would be nice!!!
You are so not alone. My sister lives in the same city and cannot be bothered with me. My DH and I have our tradition with My Mom and His Mom. We both know that once they are gone though that it will just be us. Maybe you could adopt us and we could come south. LOL.
HUGS and I so want to hibernate as well. The shortest day of the year is fast approaching and boy will I be glad when it is over and the days start getting longer. Anyway just babbling, HUGS and enjoy your daughter.
Jim ~ Thanks for the invite. I will be there in spirit.
Tiredawg ~ Thank you too for the invite. Let's see...the oldest Mustang would be our '65 loaded with moxie. We call her our little squatter because that's what she does before she peels off and goes ahead of competition. Right now she is resting in our barn that my husband calls a garage.
Oscar ~ Enjoy your family now. You never know when it'll be gone.
All my brothers and sisters live in the same town as I do and we rarely see each others - even at the holidays. I think it is a generationally thing - we use to get together at Grandma's almost every Sunday. When she passed away it just stopped.
This statement is so true "trappings that surround the holiday". I'm not a big Christmas "fan" just because of those trappings.
We might be closer than Jim's if so stop in - all our kids will be in Chicago on Christmas morning - we'll put on coffee or tea.
I wondered what would happen when my Mom passed on. She was the "nucleus" of our family. My oldest sister hosts the holiday, but it does seem like eveyone wants to go their own way. There are 8 of us and each year it seems like we spend less and less time together.
I know what you mean. After our parents are gone things are never the same again. So nice you get to visit with your daughter anyway!! My brothers have their own families and spend their time with them and the grandkids usually, and I certainly understand that.
Will you have a white Christmas? We won't. Merry Christmas to you and yours!!!
Ralph ~ See, that is what I don't understand. What ever happened to families getting together at holidays? I must be caught in a time warp.
Peruby ~ The old saying is we get to see them at weddings or funerals. I don't like either one of those choices either.
Rachel ~ No white Christmas for us, although there is still some stuff on the ground from the ice storm we had.
Post a Comment